Jim's Secret
by DunderMifflinite
Summary: Jim comes home alone from a long day at Dunder Mifflin and finds enjoyment in something other than Pam's company. Fluffyfluffness. Spoilers through Branch Wars.


It had been a long day for Jim at Dunder Mifflin Scranton.

As he wearily drove home, he thought about all that had transpired. In the morning, he had been on the phone with a client, a client who had the potential to raise his yearly commission by about ten percent. Unfortunately, just as he was about to close this rather difficult sale (the man he was dealing with wasn't blessed with the most pleasant manners), Michael had unexpectedly come up behind him and given him a very 'wet willy' into his ear, causing him to jump in his seat, knock over his grape soda so that it spilled onto a number of important documents, and swear loudly into the phone. This, unsurprisingly, had resulted in a gruff chastisement from the purchaser and a number of apologies from Jim, but to no avail. He had lost the sale.

Then, at lunch, Pam hadn't eaten lunch with him because of her monthly "Finer Things Club" meeting. Due to the disaster of the "Angela's Ashes" month, he had humbly bowed out of the club. This meant that, although he was happy to see Pam enjoying it, he had to eat his ham-and-cheese sandwich at his desk, watching Dwight organize his Pokémon card collection.

That afternoon, Michael had sent Andy and Jim on a sales call; they never ended up arriving at the designated location, however, because Andy had insisted on driving. Jim, feeling tired because of a late night watching movies with Pam, decided to sleep, foolishly believing Andy when he said he knew exactly where they were going. Andy, in the meantime, was getting them horribly lost.

When he had finally looked up, they were half an hour outside of Scranton, and although Jim had resided in Scranton for most of his life, Andy had refused to follow any of Jim's directions to get back to the office, much less to the sales call, until Jim had threatened to throw Andy's favourite a cappella CD out the window. Finally, they got to the client's business only to find after an hour and a half of negotiating that they had already signed a contract with Staples. They had finally returned to the office half an hour after everyone else had gone home.

Usually, even though he occasionally had days like this, he always had an evening with Pam to look forward to. Today, though, he and Pam had taken separate vehicles because she had a dental appointment in the late afternoon and then had to go home to quickly finish an art project due in the class she would attend that evening. She said that she would come over as soon as her class was done, but he knew she wouldn't be able to get away from it much before 9:30.

He was glad that she was taking her art classes and pursuing her dream, but he really wished that tonight of all nights he could just spend a relaxing evening with her. He never felt more at ease than when she was around. It was times like these, times apart, that he really wondered how he had survived being away from Pam all of those miserable months in Stamford, and even more his "Karen period." But, although he enjoyed spending time with Pam more than anything else, he knew he could last a few more hours until he got to see her again.

He could catch up on some laundry, make a late supper for he and Pam, and maybe he could...he smiled mischievously. Well, he'd have to make sure he did that before there was any chance Pam might catch him. He knew that he shouldn't keep secrets from her, and really, with almost everything in his life, he had no desire to. This hobby, though, he kept to himself because...well...he just felt like he would be embarrassed if Pam ever found out. So, he didn't tell her. He knew it would come out eventually, especially if this relationship was heading the direction he hoped it was—he smiled again—but he couldn't help but hope that it would be later rather than sooner.

He pulled into the parking lot of his building, and when he walked into his apartment a few minutes later, he was struck by how quiet, how empty it seemed without his favourite artist/receptionist there. He sighed, but resolutely moved forwards into his evening. The laundry got put into the washer, and he figured he would stick a frozen pizza into the oven at 9:00ish so it would be hot by the time Pam got there. Changing into jeans and a t-shirt, he was actually growing a bit excited. It was only 7:25, and he was sure that he had two solid hours. Even though he definitely missed Pam, this had been something he had also missed. They were together nearly every night now, and although he wouldn't trade that for the world, it wouldn't hurt to enjoy himself a little while she was gone anyways.

He picked up his guitar and sat on his bed, facing the far wall from the door. Playing a few random chords, he smirked as he thought of how well he had hidden his guitar-playing from Pam. Hiding the instrument itself wouldn't have been enough. She would have inadvertently found it eventually, and he was pretty sure that if this was the case, she would question him; he wouldn't lie to her, of course, so his secret would be out. Instead, he had sneakily positioned it in a spot in his room that was both prominent and non-chalant, so that she might thing that it was there for decoration, or to impress anyone who potentially would enter the room for whatever reason.

He began to play. A couple of the songs he played were just for fun, but then he got into the songs that meant more to him. This one reminded him of those years he had spent longing for Pam; they had become so close that sometimes, except when Roy was anywhere in sight, it seemed like she really was his. Then she'd leave work with her fiancé, and Jim would go home alone...

This next song was a perfect representation of the Stamford months. His time in Connecticut had been the worst of his life. He'd had fun there at times, but more often than not any feelings he felt gave way to a numb emptiness...and although that at first was better than the pain, he eventually longed to feel something, anything, to let him know he was still alive, still a human being without Pam.

He had come back to Scranton, of course, but even though it was initially unexpected, he knew that the part of his past he hated to revisit most was the one part he would never be able to escape. He kept trying, but no matter how hard he struggled there was no way he could abandon his feelings for Pam. The only problem was that he also had a history with Pam that kept him from simply giving up the fight and embracing those feelings...until that job interview. Strumming and singing, the emotions he had experienced during that pivotal year flooded through him.

Finally, he got to his favourite song to play, his and Pam's song. Well, it wasn't _technically_ their song, because he knew Pam had never heard it. He had never been one to write his own songs, but about a month into their new relationship he had come home from a date with her, and had quickly and easily written a set of lyrics that said, as far as he could put into words, how he felt about the amazing second chance he had received. It hadn't been as hard as he though it would be to find a fitting chord progression and he then attached the words to a melody. He loved singing and playing it, because although there were many more eloquent songs out there written by much more talented musicians, this one was all about Pam, his Pam.

He strummed the final chord and stood up. Looking at his watch, he saw that it was nearly time to put the pizza in the oven. He laid the guitar gently against the wall and turned around. He froze, his heart sinking in his chest and his eyes widening in apprehension and embarrassment, when he saw Pam leaning against the doorframe of his bedroom. She was clearly trying to hide a smile.

"Beesly! What...what are you doing here already?" he spluttered.

"Nice to see you, too. Well, um, my teacher actually got violently ill about halfway through class, so she told us all to go home. Seriously," she added at the sight of Jim's suspicious expression. "I didn't know you _actually_ played guitar. I thought it was just here to impress all the girls you brought home" she said playfully. "What song were you playing just now?"

"How much did you hear?"

"Just the last one, and a bit of the one before it, too. What song was it? I've never heard it before."

"Oh, it was nothing. Do you want some pizza? I was just about to put some in the oven," Jim tried to move things in a different, less focused-on-him direction.

"What is it by?" Her face was now openly exhibiting amusement and curiosity.

"No one...pepperoni or deluxe?"

"Hmm...'Nothing' by the No Ones. Sounds like they have a promising career. Why have I not heard of them before?" she replied, oblivious to his attempts to change the topic.

"You're asking too many questions, Pamalamadingdong."

She rolled her eyes. He moved closer to his bedroom door and Pam, determined to get out of there and into the kitchen where he would start the pizza and divert the conversation onto other things, like what he happened in the office while he'd been gone with Andy that afternoon, or how the non-vomity part of her art class had been. It was all to no avail, however. She responded to his move by moving a step closer to him.

"Did _you_ write that song?" she asked, seeming to already know the answer.

He remained silent. He didn't want to admit that he had, in fact, written that song, which he thought, after knowing that Pam had now heard it in its entirety, was probably the cheesiest, worst song in existence. He also wasn't going to lie to her. Maybe it would be like Jurassic Park, he thought self-derisively: if he stayed still and didn't make any noise for long enough, she might forget about his stupid attempt of a song and put her mind on getting something to eat. Pam's brain, however, was considerably more developed than a t-rex's was, he knew.

"You _did_ write it, didn't you? Jim, that was...amazing. I got chills listening to it. You're really talented!" Even though he still felt embarrassed, he could tell that Pam was being sincere in her statement.

"I was under the impression that you would hate being serenaded, even unintentionally. Remember? The only reason I got Andy to do to you last year was because I knew it would annoy you."

"Yeah," she said thoughtfully.

"I knew that it would annoy you because back a couple years ago I remember you telling me that you would vomit if any guy tried to serenade you."

"Yeah, I remember saying that. But...maybe I just needed the right guy to change my mind." She closed the gap between them, putting here arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

Well, he thought, his secret might have got out, but now that it had been, it wasn't so bad.


End file.
